Helping a friend who has discovered her partner using porn

[annared]

A very good friend of mine has just found out her partner has been using porn, using search word such as teens, humiliation, and brutality. She is beside her self as she thought he had given it up when they met three years ago. I have directed her to oag, which she thinks is excellent by the way, but now she would like some sites concentrating on men’s anti porn stance. He is reluctant to look at porn addiction sites.
Does any one have any good links I could recommend?

[Pony]

Also read the thread in misc musing.

Robert Jensen

http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/%7Erjensen/art ... ender.html

[CoolAunt]

Here are a couple that I have bookmarked.

Real Men Are Not
"Because popular social constructions of masculinity reinforce patriarchy…and it’s all full of shit."
http://realmenarenot.com/

Why Men Should Consider Giving Up Pornograpy
by Robert Jensen
http://www1.umn.edu/aurora/quittingpornography.pdf

XY: men, masculinities, and gender politics
XY is a website focused on men, masculinities, and gender politics. XY is a space for the exploration of issues of gender and sexuality, the daily issues of men's and women's lives, and practical discussion of personal and social change.
http://www.xyonline.net/index.shtml

[CoolAunt]

Doh! Three isn't a couple. Oh well...

[SaltyC]

He probably won't stop.

[sunnysmiles]

I always really liked this piece, not directly related to porn - but a good and relevant piece:

http://www.feminista.com/archives/v1n2/stoltenberg.html

Jackson Katz:
http://mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderAn ... guide/html

And of course there are the blogs/site of Joida and Rich too:

http://buriedvoices.com/2006/03/ (he should read the 'control over reality one)

http://adonismirror.com/about.htm

[annared]

I have given my friend all of your suggested reading, and she is delighted. She did not know that there was this sort of materiel available. I think she has a job on her hands, as he is 40 and being doing porn for about 25 years. She feels so strongly surrounding the porn he has been using that the relationship is in serious jeopardy if he does not stop, Thank you all for your help.

[Pony]

She might also get the book Pornified, by Pamela Paul. It's women and men discussing just what she's dealing with, addiciton to porn, how to get out of it, what women feel dealing with partners who are, what the studies say (yeah we need to hear that it justifies what we know instinctively is true). It's in the library.

Cool Aunt the link I gave above yours has ALL Robert Jensen's writings.