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Postby fullhumanity » Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:45 pm

:angryfire: :angryfire: :wtf: :pukeright: :pukeright: :pukeleft: :shock: :(

Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce Open Question

Squirrel Beret Member since:
August 28, 2008
Total points:
513 (Level 2)

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What is so bad about porn?

I am a 38 year old man and I love porn. It's great! It does all of the things my wife would never do. She won't go down, porn does! She won't do backdoor, porn does! She won't do facials, porn does! She won't invite her sister or her friend or her sister's friend or her friend's sister over for a threesome, porn does!

I still love my wife and take care of my fatherly duties. What is this big backlash against porn these days? Porn is fabulous!
Am I wrong about this? I read about these women saying that porn is ruining their marriages. Am I the only one to notice that these are the same women who are so fat and ugly that you wouldn't do them with your friends johnson?
15 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.

Answers (12) Show: All Answers Oldest to Newest Newest to Oldest Rated Highest to Lowest
by Quixotic Member since:
May 22, 2009

Porn doesn't "do" any of those things to you. All you do is watch them happen to someone else while you do all the work yourself. Silly boy.

by BabeHart
Member since:
April 18, 2006

.I have no issues with porn as long as it isn't kiddie/animal (or something I find grossly offensive), and as long as it doesn't interfere with my relationship with my partner. If he'd rather watch porn than be with me, there's a problem. If he wants to watch it solo sometimes for some 'entertainment' when I'm not available, or watch it together from time to time, I've got no issue with it...I even have a small porn collection of my own.

by Char Member since:
March 31, 2010

I agree with you! I am a woman in a long term relationship and i think porn is awesome! My fiance and I watch porn together and make dates out of going to the porn store (you know...dinner and a movie :P) I think that porn is a great addition to the bedroom for couples, especially if they had been together for a long time and things are getting stale. Porn gives me ideas of new things to try, and I enjoy watching it. I think that if the women that are against porn actually tried it they would find it is not that bad.

by Amber
Member since:
October 12, 2006

You are living in a fantasy world. Those people are paid for the things they do. Instead of sitting around watching some fake actors doing things you could only wish to do, I think you should work on improving your own sex life. And you talk about your fatherly duties in the same paragraph you talk about threesomes and porn??? Grow up and come back to reality.

by ready46x... Member since:
November 10, 2009

Babeheart & Char have the right idea,
live is to be enjoyed,
with all things in "moderation"!
life is good!
porn is entertainment,
better than soap opera too!

by jcleeve3... Member since:
January 31, 2009


by Emma Member since:
April 04, 2010

You know why is this bad??
Because it does all that your wife cannot and should not do and you expect her to do this,but can't ask because of obvious reasons.
Because soon you will get frustrated that you are not getting all this and start neglecting,ignoring,blaming your wife. And that is the stage where people go out of their marriage to look for such fun.
Because watching this will desensitise you to get any excitement from your simple wife, who is always looking after your kids and the family.

It breaks relationships. They show you another world that doesn't fit in our lifestyle!
Well labelling women who resist as fat and ugly is a defence and reason chosen by those who go out of their marriages because their wife,mother of three children,always smelling of kitchen,is fat and ugly.
If you love your wife, show it to her,tell her!

by kttphoen... Member since:
August 19, 2007

In and of itself, nothing. You do a great job of illustrating what's wrong with it. If you love your wife so much, and your life is so full, you wouldn't need or want it. You also wouldn't be subconciously demeaning her in that last paragraph.

They're not going down on you, theyre not backdooring you, theyre not giving you a facial. And they would probably laugh if you uasked. Speaking of they, this is an industry that runs through young women and now young men like tissue paper. There is also rampant drug abuse and high "career" pressure for the people involved to do things they rather wouldn't do.

The "backlash" against it is not new. In fact, it's lightened up. If you want to watch porn, fine. Your wife doesn't like it. Tell me, will you go down on her? Think about all those things being done to you before you B&M about how cold your wife is. She might actually be a little more open if her jackball husband wasn't sitting on the computer all day watching porn.

Women dig Fred Astaire way more than Ron Jeremy. Deal with it.
12 hours ago

1 Rating: Good Answer 0 Rating: Bad Answer Report Abuse by Answer G Member since:
September 26, 2009

You are seeing the world through your own eyes, and that is great. But in a relationship, you also have to consider the opinions of your partner. So why not meet her half-way. Check out the erotic video section at http://www.iloveandlust.com - you might find some videos there that are short of hardcore, but still very erotic and something that you girl might enjoy watching with you.
8 hours ago
0 Rating: Good Answer 0 Rating: Bad Answer Report Abuse by Merle Member since:

255 (Level 2) Pornography is extremely sexist,woman hating,male dominated, degrading and dehumanizing of women and it's intended to be! Look up online articles by pro-feminist anti-sexist anti-violence anti-pornography men such as former all star high school football player and anti-sexist anti-male violence educator Jackson Katz and his excellent important book,The Macho Paradox Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help. He talks in detail about the harm of pornography and how it sexually objectifies and degrades women,the woman hatred in it sexualizes and how it teaches men and now unfortunately many women since it's been normalized and mainstreamed,that this is what normal heterosexual sex is.He used to use it himself and went to strip clubs before he became the anti-sexist anti-male violence educator he has been for over 20 years.

Also journalism professor and pro-feminist anti-porn writer and educator Robert Jensen(also a former porn user) has also written about how pornography sexualizes men's dominance ,hatred of women,and gender inequality,and some sexualizes men's violence against women.His excellent book,Getting Off:Pornography And The End Of Masculinity is a great important book too. He and Jackson Katz both talk about how pornography commonly calls women woman hating names like c*m eating,sluts wh*res and B*itches often portrays and describes sex as degrading and violent as in f*cking ,pounding,banging,slamming,the slut ,wh*re and b*tch hard, and including in their sh*tholes, and often ejaculating all over the women's faces,breasts and or in their mouths( I have seen these common sexist violent degrading descriptions of women and the sex acts on sites that show still pictures from harcore pornographic videos).And how it portrays women as nothing but things to feel,f*ck,ejaculate all over and forget.

Anti-male violence anti-sexist,anti-racist,anti-homophobia educator therapist Russ Funk also addresses these issues on his web site and he presented the topic,Pornography What's The Harm? at The Center For Women,Children and Families a few years ago.Feminist Philosophy professor Rebecca Whisnant also is a great educator about all of this so is sociologist and Women's Studies professor Dr.Gail Dines who has been educating with slide shows about sexist,racist,violent,woman-hating images in the media & pornography for decades.

I find it really very disturbing that because pornography has been mainstreamed and normalized in the very sexist,woman hating male dominated society we live in,and because more men are using it,it's influencing many women now too to think it's normal and acceptable.

A woman using or supporting pornography is exactly the same thing as a black person using or supporting racist pornography or a Jew supporting or using anti-semetic pornography!But women will get men's acceptence and approval though and that is important for a dominated group of people who have an inferior status in society,to get acceptance and approval from the people who dominate and oppress them in order to survive.

Also women in our sexist woman hating male dominated society(that created and normalized the God da*ned pornography in the first place!) still only get payed the most when they are f*ck objects to use and disgard for men's pleasure in pornography & prostitution but when women use their intelligence as doctors,lawyers etc they are payed less than men for doing the same jobs,and men are payed more for using their same qualifications & abilities,the only thing they aren't payed more for is their bodies as just sex objects to sexually please women!

Many Women and children have testified that their sexual abusers have showed them pornography and used it as part of the sexual abuse and forced them to do the things they saw in the pornography. Many wives and girlfriends have also said that their husbands and boyfriends are often pressuring them to do the things they see in pornography like the sick disgusting,degrading,dehumanizing sexist women hating ejaculating on women's faces and bodies and sh*thole sex.Just like you described here,facial is a term right out of pornography for men ejaculating on a woman's face etc.

Plenty of good psychological research shows it desensitizes(many of whom felt what it showed was degrading,sick and disgusting,shocking etc at first) viewers and teaches them what pornography shows is normal and acceptable and teaches that this is what most women want and how they want to be treated by men) when they watch it over time including women viewers who blamed rape victims after they saw standard fare "non-Violent" pornography and saw women as only sex objects etc.
Anti-sexist anti-male violence educator Jackson Katz,therapist Russ Funk,Robert Jensen,philosophy professor Rebecca Whisnant,sociologist Dr.Gail Dines,Psychiatrist Dr.Linnea Smith's anti-porn site & research,Genderberg anti-exploitation,anti-porn,anti-violenc… &anti-sexist anti-woman woman hating site & organization.

How bias distorts perception and shapes social interaction.

by Steve Livingston

Steve Livingston is an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Toronto at Scarborough. See full bio

April 28, 2009, Psychology Today

Lay Perceptions Porn isn't subtle, but its psychological effects might be!

This post is a response to Does Pornography Cause Social Harm? by Michael Castleman

Recently, Michael Castleman made a general claim (seconded by Gad Saad) that there is little evidence of pornography-induced social harm. He backed up this assertion with some general statistics from the United States: "...as porn viewing has soared, rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, teen sex, teen births, divorce, and rape have all substantially declined. If Internet porn affects society, oddly enough, it looks beneficial."

This is, of course, a highly misleading argument. Why? Because other social, educational, and technological advances have accompanied the growth of the pornography industry. Contiguity of events is not an indicator of causality, only a precondition. (Crack cocaine use is down, too... Should we thank Larry Flynt?) It is possible that pornography consumption has null effects on these social problems; but it is also possible that pornography contributes to these problems in degrees that are compensated for by these other advances.

So if broad social trends won't cut it, what subtle effects might we look for? Here are a few off the top of my head, some of which have already been subjected to careful study...

Does romantic interest of pornography consumers in their current (or potential) partners decrease as a function of media exposure?

Does romantic interest of current ( or potential) partners in pornography consumers decrease as a function of media exposure?
Do acceptance of one's own physicality decrease as a function of media exposure? (e.g., satisfaction with musculature and male genital size)

Do beliefs about what constitutes "good sex" or a "good sex partner" change as a function of media exposure?

Do beliefs about normality (in the statistical sense) of sex acts change as a function of media exposure?

Does rape myth acceptance increase as a function of media exposure? (e.g., women use sexual deprivation as a primary means of social control; women who dress provocatively are "asking" for sex)
Castleman claims that his figures suggest pornography consumers are no more likely to commit sexual assaults... Ok, great! Now how about acquittal rates when they serve as jurors at acquaintance rape trials? Would they be more likely to empathize with the defendant?

Castleman made a brief reference to feminist sociologist Robert Jensen. I read Jensen's recent book Getting Off about two months ago. It's a worthwhile read, though written in an unflinchingly frustrated tone. ( I'm paraphrasing here, but Jensen essentially says that it's time for men to walk the talk of treating women equally, and that walking the talk means curbing pornography consumption. I can imagine this is a bitter pill for some to swallow, whether because of personal consumption habits, values concerning free expression, or attitudes about gender equality. You can listen to an interview with Jensen here.)

Indeed, Jensen's claims that pornography may strengthen existing violent proclivities seem eminently reasonable. While it is hard to pin down broad social effects of pornography consumption in the way Castleman tried to do, a fair amount of recent research on pornography's effects examines how certain personality "vulnerabilities" may heighten pornography's influence.

A point of agreement: Castleman correctly noted that pornography makes a lousy instructional manual for pleasurable partnered sex. I would add that it is very hard to see how most pornography is instructive for contraception or disease control. Condom use is infrequent in these media -- supposedly because consumers prefer viewing "bareback" sex -- and demonstrations of other prophylaxes (e.g., dental dams for cunnilingus) are all but non-existent. Because the "money shot" (footage of ejaculation, usually on the woman's body or face) is expected in heterosexual male-oriented porn, coitus interruptus ("pulling out") is the name of the game. (Perhaps this is why teen birth rates are down, he said sarcastically!)

Furthermore, sex acts that carry higher risks of injury, humiliation, and/or disease contraction (e.g., multiple simultaneous penetrations; sadomasochist acts such as choking and slapping during intercourse; anal sex; penetrations followed immediately by oral sex) are depicted as routine. Indeed, the women often perform as if these behaviours are particularly pleasurable, selling the fantasy that every woman has a hidden "slut" switch, waiting to be flipped on by the right kink. Such normalization of unusual practices might heighten perceived conformity pressures from one's partner and from "society."

(This is not an argument from prudishness, by the way. You could claim that pornography may encourage partners to experiment with novel and mutually enjoyable positions/practices. I'd counter that so would any decent book on sexual instruction, and without quite so much profitable degradation of women.)

The invisibility of safer sex practices, incidentally, is also a common concern among critics of "romance novels" aimed at women. In a neat pair of studies, Diekman et al. (2000) demonstrated that, first, regular consumption of romance novels was associated with reduced self-reported intent to use condoms, and second, the depiction of condom use within a romantic story context increased self-reported intent to use condoms.

In sum, pornography is not a fictional depiction of sex -- it is real sex embedded within a tissue of convenient fictions. If consumers with pre-existing psychological vulnerabilities model their own sexual acts upon what they see in typical heterosexual pornography, harmful expectations about sexual behavior may emerge.

Freedom of expression must be tempered with due concern about the meaning of those expressions. Given today's ubiquity of pornographic material, we should not be content with easy answers about its likely legacy.


Diekman, A. B., McDonald, M., & Gardner, W. L. (2000). Love means never having to be careful: The relationship between reading romance novels and safe sex behavior. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 24, 179-188.

And most men think blood and menstrual blood is gross but blood isn't that gross at all,it's just a thin red liquid that keeps us all alive. But semen is totally gross many men and women on different message boards have said so too and called it penis snot(with 300 million sperm cells in it!).And since a lot of men think blood is gross,I'd like to know if all of these men who love to watch men ejaculating semen on women's faces & bodies & who love to do this to women in their lives,would like to see the men in pornography with menstrual blood smeared all over their faces,bodies & in their mouths,& to have women do this to them too.Oh but most would think this was gross & degrading!

How extremely disturbing that so far some sicko who obviously supports pornography voted my answer as a bad answer when I actually gave the best most informative answer by a lot of experts.But it's not the answer you porn users want to hear!


by dancing_smurf

I do not believe porn is wrong, provided the content is legal nor do I believe it destroys marriages. Those who blame porn for destroying marriages is looking at a symptom and not the root cause. My feeling in most cases where porn is blamed for the failure of the marriage it is usually do another reason such as a breakdown in communication, partner was incompatible because the differences could not be resolved, or marriage was for the wrong reason (e.g. pregnancy).
9 minutes ago

0 Rating: Good Answer 0 Rating: Bad Answer Report Abuse by punk princess Member since:
August 15, 2007

how can any1's wife bear her man watching another lady naked? is it so hard for you to realise ?
and you being a father still watch porn.

sorry to say . its highly disgusting.
15 hours ago

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If there was a 12 billion $ industry portraying blacks,and Jews to Whites and German and Christians as just sex objects to use for them,calling them hateful names,nobody would say it's liberating for them! Nor would it be so acceptable and mainstreamed!
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