laurelin wrote:I wasn't going to say anything about this, as I was worried that I would be seen to be a) over-personalising this, and b) jumping on people.
I personally find it very triggering to hear descriptions of BDSM and anal sex, as it raises very unpleasant feelings and memories in me that I will not go into here. I cannot adaquately express the emotions that it calls up because I don't have the words. I'm the reason there is a trigger warning on this thread. Now, I'm not saying that I should be protected from everything that might upset me, nor that anyone did this deliberately to upset me, nor that these things shouldn't be discussed- but there is a time and place, and I don't believe that is here. This space should be safe, and I thought it was clear that such questions and discussions were inappropriate here. I doubt I'm the only one here who finds discussion of the pleasures of BDSM triggering- in fact, I believe this thread shows explicitly that I am not!
Laurelin, I'm so sad to hear you feel that way, and yeah I agree with you. You're clearly not the only one here who finds discussions of the pleasures of BDSM triggering: When Laura first brought up such domination/subordination fantasies, I clearly found them very triggering, having engaged into bondage and unwanted intercourse in the past (due to persistent ex-boyfriends' requests). It clearly wasn't easy for me to read this when it first came up and also when it came up again, because, although I had read many things like these in feminist books that gave content analyses of pornography, the pornography in anti-porn books was quoted in a safe context as being inherently bad and unfair, and what I had read on this thread, to me, was like reading pornography in its raw state. So, this clearly was triggering, given the fact that my first boyfriend (for example) would show me pornography, relentlessly try to have me act out the scenes or something that I found uncomfortable, and tell me pornographic scenarios over and over again: and it all was then pornography in its raw state (not quoted within a safe feminist context)!!! Which was very painful! That's why I did find this thread triggering too (although I had to forcefully argue in favor of the radical feminist oppositions to BDSM and pornography, which were very worthy, worth arguing for, and worth fighting for)...
I agree with Sam: Let's wrap this up! I believe that everyone has said what they wanted to say (although some people did not answer other people's questions and avoided commenting on some posts regarding the radical feminist opposition to BDSM -- but I can see reasons for that) and we have made ourselves clear about all of this. So, yes Sam, let's wrap all this up!!!
Maggie