one of them world hatin' days

[sam]

Biking home today I saw a brownskinned young girl, maybe 15-16, soliciting tricks 6 blocks from my house.

I pulled over and asked her if she was okay because she was standing at a telephone pole and motioning at cars with her arm but there was no bus stop there. She didn't say anything so in typical New York fashion I kept talking and said I was just asking because there's no bus stop and she was motioning as if she wanted someone to stop. She said very softly, "I know there's no stop."

My friendly smile waned and my voice got serious, "I really, really hope that you're okay and safe."

I rode on two blocks then, out of her sight, turned around to see if she stayed there, which she did for about 10 seconds and then started walking off the main drag into the residential area where my house is. At home I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote my name and phone number on it, but I couldn't find her when I rode back out.

I know scenes like this happen everyday all around this fucking city full of johns. I know they happen 24-hours a day blocks away from my house at the most notorious prostitution strip in a city with three well-known "red light districts". I know it, and it still rips me apart to see one brownskinned teen girl flagging down would-be child rapists who don't think of themselves as child rapists.

So I'm crying and doing other useless drama queeny motions like writing this here post because I don't know what else to do. I'm doing everything I know how to do and it's not one millionth of enough to make a difference to that one girl. It's not enough and I can never be or do enough, but giving up is simply not an option so I'll raise my umbrella against the tsunami again and again and I'll get soaked wet again and again just like I always do.

"A heart that hurts is a heart that works" -Juliana Hatfield

[msjared]

i so feel you on this one, sam. my neighborhood is filled with this kind of stuff as well, and i feel helpless against it. i want to reach out to so many of these women and girls but i'm not sure how. the pimps are usually within arms reach and to be honest, i'm really scared of them. violent crime is way up in my neighborhood: rape, assault, murder, etc.

it's heartbreaking. all i feel like i can do is try and catch their eye and communicate that i'm an ally to them but really, how is that any use to them.

what's your advice to reaching out, sam? i don't want to put them in any greater danger nor do i want to bring it on myself.

FWIW, if you live in san francisco, please sign:

"The link below will get you to the online Petition for Action directed to our City Officials from The New Tenderloin (TNT) regarding safety issues in our neighborhood. We encourage you to sign the online petition and send the link to others to sign it, as well."

http://www.petition online.com/ TNT/petition. html

[manxome]

Sam, I'm so sorry about the incredible frustration.

I think most of the time you never will know when you make a positive impact on someone. If you think about impacts made on you, isn't it often those "little" kindnesses that come just at the right time, and you think "they have no idea what that meant to me"?

So, maybe. Maybe those words from you came at an important moment for her, and builds on other positive things in the past and to come. At worst, she wasn't willing to hear it at the time, but it's there, and it may mean something in the future. Altogether, it can only be a good thing. You just don't know when and in what way.

The only thing I can suggest is to print your contact information (or contact information for a local support group) on some small cards and carry them with you as often as possible. Maybe they can go in a small change purse attached to your keychain, a small bag attached to your handlebars, or a pocket on one of those water bottle holders.

You still did a great thing, Sam. I'm certain of that.

[sunnysmiles]

The only thing I can suggest is to print your contact information (or contact information for a local support group) on some small cards and carry them with you as often as possible. Maybe they can go in a small change purse attached to your keychain, a small bag attached to your handlebars, or a pocket on one of those water bottle holders.

You still did a great thing, Sam. I'm certain of that.

I can understand your frustration as I live in the vicinity of three of the biggest strip clubs in TO, plus the informal 'redlight' neighbourhood.

In a way though, women might also be hostile to you especially if they assume you are a nark/undercover. I'm not saying so for this particular instance, but the possibility exists in other situations.

A friend of mine carries around a little card like Manxome just suggested and she gives it to homeless youth/adults etc. In that she has phone numbers for all sorts of service agencies/activist orgs/crisis centres.

I suggest you might want to put one together which includes local shelters/rape crisis centres/hotlines/outreach programs/sexual/reproductive health clinics/youth employment centres/drug addiction centres/other hotlines etc...

You can make this on a word document and just print them out like business cards on card paper.

[Andrew]

Great advice!