Apathy, Empathy And The Place Between
As I had expected there were quite a few comments from the pro-porn crowd over my post entitled The Moon Inverted. There were several folks who didn't get past moderation that had very nasty things to say indeed. Of course, that's par for the course when I discuss pornography. But on this post we saw a very clear line being drawn at the beginning, I had expected as much but still got angry as a sad smile played across my lips.
The line that was being drawn was whether people thought they were fake or real. Some folks tried to go to great lengths to tell us why these photos were (of course) not real. They pointed at whatever they could to tell me that the pics were definitely, definitely not of a rape! Or rather, they went to great lengths to tell me that the photos were definitely, definitely not of a rape of Iraq women. The irony is not lost on me. In a post in which I talk about how people jump to defend any old Tom, Dick or Harry who puts up a website that contains porn people do exactly what I was talking about and jump forward to blindly back up said Tom, Dick and Harry.
The sad irony is not lost upon me.
I am frustrated by the number of people who say, "That's not real!" without any proof whatsoever that these photos were faked. What if I told you that the photos were published by a guy whose daughter had leveled rape allegations against him? What if I told you that the photos were published by a man whose wives attested to his sadism and cruelty with them? Would you think any different? How would you know, based upon just a photo, that a woman was not raped in the picture?
Do you know which pornographer had rape allegations from his daughter leveled against him? What pornographer’s wife had spoken of severe abuse?
Larry Flynt.
These photos, the ones that Heart published, were published on a no-name, backwater website. As soon as the furor started and people began poking around the photos and the website disappeared. I wonder why? If they were on the up and up and had consent on file (as many of you appeared to be claiming) then why did they duck and run? Why did they disappear?
But of course, they were fake right?
And if this bit of information has made you think then I challenge you to ask yourself why you didn't think about it BEFORE I said anything. Why it is that you were sure that the photos were fake before you found out any of this? Is the concept of rape so unbelievable to you? Or is the concept of male cruelty the thing from which you hide?
With exactly zero evidence to the contrary people stepped forward to tell me that these photos are definitely, definitely fake. No evidence, no signatures, no paper trail, nothing. With only the images and nothing more to go by people assumed that these women were not 'really' raped.
If you find yourself wondering about why the entire website disappeared when people began poking around then good for you. If you find yourself raising an eyebrow and saying, "Hmmm" after hearing that the website was touting the pictures as real rape sent in by real soldiers and then, as soon as people began asking questions they disappeared leaving no trace of the photos behind then I'm happy for you. But you know what? You also owe me a fucking explanation.
I want to know why it is that these women, their tears, their pain, could not be taken upon their OWN merits. Why did it take hearing about the website to make you wonder? Who in the hell are you to look at a depiction of rape and to determine whether or not it's 'real'? What do you know about rape? Did your 'porny sense' not go off? Or is it that you have a vested interest in keeping the flesh market alive so that you can get your rocks off?
You know what has pissed me off the most? The fact that nobody seems to be up in arms over the fact that these photos exist. "Are they real? Are they fake?" I'm hearing this and I'm getting the idea that there is quite a bit of importance placed upon this small fact. For whatever fucking reason people desire to debate about how real or fake they are as if, if they were fake it would somehow exonerate them.
Bullshit.
These photos exist and many, many others just like them. Type in "rape porn" on google and check out the titles of the sites. 'Scream and Cream' with the tagline, 'They scream in horror and cream in anticipation'. Hardcore images of women screaming and being raped.
Or how about "Forced Fuckers" which advertises photos of "soldiers having their way with young girls".
Or maybe "Violent Russians, Russian rape site” which uses this to draw people in: "But since Revolution men wanted to fuck!! Now they are free to do what they want and they are going to take it any way, even by force! Now Russia is even more dangerous place... especially for women!"
One google search entitled 'rape porn' will show 10,800,000 hits.
Why in the fuck aren't you screaming about this? Where is the fucking outrage that this shit even exists. Where is the anger? The wrath? The righteous indignation from people everywhere? I don't give a fuck whether it's 'real' or not, how can ANY of you defend it?
As a woman who has experienced rape I can say that I'm fucking horrified. I'm fucking horrified at the apathy that is displayed whenever this topic comes up. I'm horrified and
ed at the excuses and the bullshit. The knowledge that there are men right now, who are looking for this shit and wanking off to it is fucking terrifying to me. Rape is NOT nor should it EVER be fodder for masturbation and I don't give a fuck who I'm insulting.
I deal with victims of rape almost daily and their stories haunt me in the still moments of my life. I have spent my entire adult life attempting to break the cycles of abuse. I'm
ed by the complacency and apathy that is shown to this topic as if it's just perfectly normal for men to look up and get off to images of women being raped.
Tell me why this is normal? Tell me again why this is harmless? Because dude, I'm not buying it.
I don't give a flying fuck whether those women were 'actually' raped or not, there exists in this world millions upon millions of photos of the exact same thing. People wake up. This is not a good thing.
I cannot describe how deeply offended I am to hear the apathy in some of these comments. (Most of them didn't get through moderation) I am deeply offended that the single most traumatic events in my life are held up as masturbatory fodder. Images that are terrifyingly reminiscent of the pains that I and so many others have suffered are used to bring about pleasure in some people.
Think about that for a moment. What a fucking insult that the most damaging, destructive and traumatic crime that can be done to women is defended and brings pleasure to uncounted numbers of men. In any other area of our lives this would be utterly unacceptable.
If someone's cat died and they realized that the death of their cat was making someone happy the sympathy would abound. If my dog died and I said that some dude thought it was great and used the idea of my dog dying to masturbate to people would give me a fucking trophy for not killing him. They'd say things like, "Wow! He sounds DANGEROUS! Do you know that people who think about torturing animals sometimes become serial killers! I'm so sorry!"
But yet, a woman who has been raped is given NO SUCH courtesy. Indeed, if a woman has been raped and she takes offence at these sorts of pictures she'll be told to "Lighten up!", "It's not real!", "Don't tell people what they can and can't jerk off to!" She’ll be called a fascist and she’ll be likened to Hitler. HITLER for gods sake!
Am I less important than a fucking cat? Am I less important than an animal?
Here's a real life example. My first husband beat me, raped me and abused me in ways that I will never speak of to another human being. He violently and brutally raped me, held me to the floor and damn near choked me to death.
You know what else he did? He crushed my pet parrot. He was angry at me and Smoke was walking on the floor and he crushed him with his booted foots. He killed him because I pissed him off.
Do you know that every single time I have told people my story with all the information I have just given you that they say, "OMG! He killed your parrot? What a sick bastard!" Now, quite frankly I don't care to hear the excuses. I don't care to hear someone say, "Well, we hear about rape all the time and so we're deadened to it". (Yes, I've heard that before when I've gotten angry because more weight was given to my parrot than was given to me) I say that you need to get UNDEAD because this, my friends, is bullshit.
Those photos exist as do millions of other photos like them. And yet where is the outrage? Where is the anger? Where oh fucking where are the picket lines, the angry letters? When did rape become so fucking sexy? Because, you know, I just gotta say, that when I was raped I don't remember it as a big old fun fuck fest.
We place so much trust in pornographers for a reason that I cannot fathom. Hustler, Playboy, all of the big names have proven, over and over, that they are a seedy business which coerces and rapes women all the time. And yet, because they provide us with whatever fantasy we want, we give them all the trust in the world.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. I only know that I'm angry. I'm angry that I live in a world in which when a woman is raped by a Great Dane and we say, "Poor doggy". I'm sick that we live in a world in which a woman is raped on camera and we say, "Nah, it's not real because if he was REALLY raping her then he'd have done this, this and this, and he would have worn this, this or this."
I am tired folks. I'm tired of screening comments that say things like "Rape is fucking hot". I'm tired of sitemeter, I'm tired of apathy. I'm tired of exhausting myself in the porn debate. I'm tired of knowing that my pain is someone else’s pleasure and I'm tired of being told that I should just get over it. I'm tired of the lame ass excuse that "Some women may like being in rape pictures!" I'm fucking tired of it.
I write every day, whether that be in this blog, in my private journals or in my fiction book but you know, sometimes, I get tired. Sometimes I just don't understand. Sometimes I just want to throw my hands into the air and scream at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I go outside to my mare and brush the mud from her coat while crying into her strong back.
In this world there are those men who would use the pain of me and my sisters to masturbate to. In this world there are those men who would and do purport to pass judgment on 'real' rape and 'fake' rape. In this world there are those who photograph real women being tortured, bound, beaten and raped. And yet there is a mask of complacency over all and you know what? I'm fucking tired of it.
To those of you who wish to make my last post a debate about porn I ask you to go into the archives. All of the standard answers have been given. Hell, I've done long, detailed posts about each and every single one of your 'points'. I'm done going round and round with you. In fact, I'm dropping the rope right now. If you get hot and bothered by rape then by all means go find it. I'll be over here crying into my mares back.
~BB