genderberg.com

You may have noticed that Genderberg is dedicated to a man named Phillip Michael Peck.

http://www.genderberg.com/phpNuke/modul ... icle&sid=8

This morning his mother called to tell me he died at the age of 32 from complications with the medicines he was taking for AIDS.

Phil was a gay man and my best friend from junior high school. His personal diva was Debbie Gibson and he wanted to direct Broadway musicals some day. He was also a prostituted man who started turning tricks as a teen after older men solicited him from NYC mall bathrooms. From there he went on to do gay pornography, live sex shows, and drag performances using my middle name as his stage name. He ran a gay escort agency for a time until he got arrested.

A few years ago his partner of six years and another prostituted man and friend of mine, Darren, died suddenly from AIDS. Since then Phil stopped prostituting, beat his addictions to various hardcore drugs, and was still struggling to overcome his alcoholism as he volunteered with the Gay Men's Health Clinic in Manhattan. Phil told me he probably got HIV from a trick who offered an extra $20 bucks to go bareback, and for those measly twenty dollars he got a death sentence.

I've been close friends with Phil since I was 13 and have a fat folder full of letters, holiday cards, dried flowers, and other memorabilia of our many misadventures. I used to brag to people with sex poz pride that I had sex worker friends who were happy and living the good life, thereby boosting my own sexee street cred by choosing not to relay the stories Phil told of getting raped, stealing drugs and money from tricks, and getting various sexually transmitted diseases. While I don't blame myself for the pains he went through in prostitution, I can't help but wonder if things might have been a little different if I didn't encourage and fucking applaud his and Darren's prostituting all those years. When I last saw him in October he told me how proud he was of Genderberg and the work I'm doing, and the Valentine's Day e-card he sent implied a shift in fortunes and hope for the future.

Phillip Michael Peck died this week at age 32 because of men's belief in their right to sex with prostitutes. If you thought I was a stubborn bitch before about cock-blocking tricks then steel yourself for Sam version 2.0

Sam that was a very brave post. I hear you.

Sam, I am so sorry for your loss. you are indeed brave.

Take care

I'm so sorry Sam for your loss.

I am really sorry to read that, Sam.

Please take care.

I'm sorry for your loss too Sam.

Thinking of you.

Condolences from here too.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, Sam.

Hope you are as OK as you can be.

I'm sorry that you've lost this friend.

My condolences to you, Sam.
I think yuour friend would be proud of Sam version 2.0, and we will be too.

You can see some pictures of him here. If you click past a couple of doubles you can see a picture of him and Darren.

http://www.crel-media.com/phillippeck/photos/

I'm so sorry for your loss, Sam.

i'm so sorry for your loss, sam, but look forward to learning more from sam 2.0.
xoxo, jared

Sorry to hear this. I hope he didn't suffer at the end.

Thinking of Phil today.

He helped me survive junior high school. It was still a stifling, miserable experience but he made it just a little less so. Instead of it crumbling my house, it made a crack in the wall I spackled and hung a picture over. The picture was a photo of me and him plotting our escape from inept adults and bigoted bullies and having a riotous time doing it.

We met over Whoopie Goldberg in the back of the science room. It was late autumn and we hadn't exchanged two words. He had his usual gaggle of girl adorers surrounding him, the ones who disliked me for getting good grades and being unpopular while they got bad grades and were unpopular. Talking about celebrities, one girl mentioned Whoopie and said she was ugly, making Phil exhort, "Whoopie Goldberg is beautiful." They scoffed and groaned for the half-moment it took me to lift my head and confirm, "Whoopie Goldberg is beautiful." His eyes met mine and we fell in love instantly. He walked over to me and we talked about who was better, Debbie Gibson or Tiffany, a debate that would recur throughout our friendship mostly because it drove him nuts when I argued for Tiffany. When I started arguing Paula Abdul was a better singer than Debbie, the feud lasted long enough for Paula to disappear then make a huge comeback with American Idol while Debbie's career dwindled to the point she did Playb*y in desperation.

Once, Phil was turning a trick in Long Island who offered to pay him in animation cells and Phil told me he almost considered it because there was a Disney Cinderella one he thought I'd like. He would send me pictures of him performing drag shows under the name Marissa, my middle name, that had scribbled blue pen on the back explaining that when he performs he gets to drink for free. I did not get any pictures from the two times he drank so much vodka he coughed blood and spent weeks in the hospital.

I miss him. I can't talk the celebrity claptrap like I used to, but I would like to say one last time, "'Radio Romance' is totally better songwriting than 'Shake Your Love'" just to watch him go apoplectic.

oh, sam.

that's so sad.

Using your energy for GB and the like is a way to carry his memory with you, I would think

I'm so sorry to hear that, Sam, that's so sad.

Moonlight wrote:Using your energy for GB and the like is a way to carry his memory with you, I would think

Yep. I would think so too...

How tragic. I am truly sorry for your loss, Sam.

The world is a very weird place. Here's a man's email I got today:

Samantha

I have been trying to find a kid that sent me a letter about 20 years ago. We were both fans of the group Expose. I never responded. I regret that. I have thought about this kid for so long. I have looked for him online. I found a site he created a while back that had some pics on it and some stuff about Debbie Gibson.

Today I had the feeling to look for him again. Finally, I think I found him. Philip Peck I remember that his letter came from Narrowsburg, NY, I think. But then eventually he moved to Long Island. I remember seeing him in an article about him wanting to bring his boyfriend to the prom. It was in Newsday. It was a surprise to see him in the paper.

It's been so many years and I regret not responding to his letter. I didn't not respond for any reason. I was a kid who just kept putting things off. I was a bit shy too. So today, in my search, I came across your interview on HerStories and saw what you had said about Phil. I am so sad. I wish that things could have been different for him. I wish that I had written that letter back. He seemed like such a great guy. I think we probably would have turned out to be great friends. So I realize that it has been a couple of years since you lost your friend but I just want to say how sorry I am for you loss. Thank you for helping me giving me some closure. It's funny because even though I didn't know him, I felt like I knew him. It makes me sad. Well thanks again. I hope life is going well for you!

Must have been one seriously sublime letter Phil wrote.

I'm so sorry to hear that Sam. That's heartbreaking.